Liability Legend Gifts

Lawyer to other: 'If you ask me, whiplash cases are a pain in the neck.'

"Now that's a win."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Dog with Anchor Lead

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

Ted Hughes

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

"Do you have any picture books that could help a child understand tort reform?"

'Someday, all of this liability exposure will be yours!'

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

"Lawn fish. They're hell to get rid of."

Spring cleaning.

Working hard to maintain customer relations

"This is probably the most mature, astute novel of the last half century that I've just finished. Me want ice cream."

Is there anything you want to say to me? Get back to work? I pay you too much? I can hire a migrant worker for half your pay and he won't complain to me in English? And he probably won't be loyal to you and this cafe for 20 years. Twenty years. Twenty years. It's your 20-year anniversary? I'm assuming that's the extent of your acknowledgment of this momentous occasion, and I should not expect a cake. You may have a day-old cruller for half price.

Mitch McConnell

'Where's the starter?'

A Guide to Mustaches

"The new chief doctor will be the one who manages to remove this sword."

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

'You were right - it's shallow rooting but spreading'

'And this is where we adjust interest rates.'

Airport: Frequent Lost Luggage Desk.

'Son, your grandfather was the first lawyer on this case and some day it will be your case.'

Gardener's Calendar: April - Your lawn will have started to grow now.