Legion Loyalist Gifts

"... To be honest, I've forgotten what it was I joined up to forget."

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

Bottle Distillery

Personal Assistants.

When Someone Says Biden Sucks, You Are Supposed to Have a Good Answer

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

Trent Alexander-Arnold

Voter impatience.

Ball and Chain

Replica Football Merchandise

'We're still crazy then ...'

'Kaplan, you've been traded. ...Sorry about the tattoos.'

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

"I wonder why the kids named me Mourinho? I hope it's not because I'll only last a few days..."

Non-metric speak your weight machine

'What do you mean foul? I had a shower this morning!'

You're supposed to just copy it. The Archbishop says to knock off the ad libs!

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

Arsene Wenger's piggy bank and Andre Villas Boas.

'Early evening kick-off for the Gunners, is it, Henderson?'

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

'All he wants is one more chance to prove to you that he can make $750,000 a year.'

"A paperback?! Iv'e got hundreds of books saved on this."

Policemen Bill and Alf in police car.

The Republican Machine

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

'I just want a candidate who doesn't make me flinch.'

While the world's attention has be focused on Vatican city this week, devotions continue in Washington, D.C.

Alliance of American Football

"No, your book didn't 'lock up' on you. You actually have to turn the page."

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

Reality Football

"They've got no talent...he sings off key...they've got no rhythm...they look like slobs...I'd say you've got a huge hit on your hands!"