Legal Recognition Humorist Pillows

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Loopholes

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Fairtale prosecutions.

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"...and furthermore that said housewife violated both the animal cruelty statute as well as the disability act when she willfully cut off the tails of three visually impaired rodents."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Justice

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

How was I supposed to know she was under age?