Legal Humor Appreciator Pillows

Devil on trial - "We find the defendant guilty of being in the details."

'Lawyers boarding a plane'

"Psst - wanna buy this building? It's going cheap."

"Since you're a lawyer we got you a birthday tort, get it?"

"An ASBO for sheep worry isn't fair - I was only following orders!"

"Did any of these guys sell you the acid?"

'The glass is half-full divorce lawyers, , , The glass is empty bankruptcy attorneys,'

Yomp & Jones...attorneys: 'Mr Jones wants me to inform you that he is representing your wife in her divorce.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

'At this point you're supposed to enter a plea -- you can't buy a vowel.'

"Are you aware under the new terrorism laws I can hold you without charge for up to 90 days?"

'Don't try to fly. Next...'

Your wife can't testify against you, Well 3 of mine just did.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Talk about a lousy lawyer! He couldn't even convince the judge that I wasn't a flight risk."

'I hear prisoners get time added on for good behaviour.'

"Your genration is soft. When I was your age, the lawsuits we filed were much less frivolous."

'The reduction in legal aid has really got people fired up...'

'I'm planning to file a sex-discrimination complaint. They didn't let me run with the bulls in Pamplona.'

"It gets worse, she's demanding custody of the kidney she donated to you back in '84."

A tip jar in a courtroom

"Really, your Honor!"

The Little Attorney

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court