Legal Joke Appreciator Pillows

Man sees sign on lawyers' door: 'Fogarty, Brown and Plimsoll ... Conflicts of Interest'

10K Ambulance Chase

Man on crutches leaving courtroom: 'I got off on the wrong foot when I said the forklift ran over my right foot.'

'We'd like to make evil proprietary.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Laughing Zone Ahead

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

OMG.

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

Split the last one?

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.