Law Joke Appreciator Pillows

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

What's an Imax cave?

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Laughing Zone Ahead

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

OMG.

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

Split the last one?

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."