Legal Proceedings Entertainment Gifts

'You're becoming a regular on 'Court TV'.'

Trial by Media

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Another slander suit!"

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

JET (Part I)

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Sue The Bastards

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Way too much information on your resume.'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"You don't have to answer that."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."