Legal Laugh Enthusiast Pillows

'Ooh look, the Palestinians want to bring a case against Israel!'

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

'And in order to make the experience of court less intimidating...'

It may work for medicine, but laughter isn't the best jurisprudence

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Baby's first words.

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'