Legal Fashion Guru Gifts

'Call me an idealist, but I believe this trial should be about more than mere testimony, evidence and legal mumbo jumbo. It should also be about which lawyer has the best three-piece suit.'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

A Meeting of Great Ties.

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

THE LANGUAGE OF PROM DRESSES

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

"Baby, with your money and my money, we could really buy places."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Robert Johnson

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

One Dollar, One Vote

Established Clothing Stores

On the Hanger

'Run it by legal and then a couple of talk-show hosts.'

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

'Finally. Her lipstick is just right.'

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"Which free tote goes best?"

Haute C. E. O., Business Couture - Lean In.

"It started with cargo shorts and then he got carried away."

Stop now and get some new ideas.

I love the fashion mistakes everyone wears back to school. W. Fester High. What were they thinking? It's fun to pick out the biggest whopper. I just wish � I wasn't wearing it. Rompers are so 3 weeks ago!

Scene from The Emperor's New Clothes. Little boy says: 'But he's not even wearing any designer labels.'

"Lose the goatee."

Sorry, formal only.

"It looked cute when I saw it on someone pretty."