Legal Eagles With A Twist Gifts

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"White Collar Prison"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Paralegal eagle.

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

I am billing, therefore I am.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

"He's doing it again, your honor!"

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

Abortion Debates in the US

'Talk to my lawyer.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Judge getting hair done.

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

Play It Safe

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'