Legal Eagles With A Twist Gifts

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"White Collar Prison"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Paralegal eagle.

I am billing, therefore I am.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

'Talk to my lawyer.'

Judge getting hair done.

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'

The Lawyer of Oz