Legal Eagle Aficionados Gifts

'Saul Werman, Attorney at Law... I got a call from someone in need of 'wegal wepwesentation?''

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

Paralegal eagle.

I am billing, therefore I am.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

Judge getting hair done.

'Talk to my lawyer.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."