Legal Eagle Aficionados T-Shirts

'Saul Werman, Attorney at Law... I got a call from someone in need of 'wegal wepwesentation?''

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

Paralegal eagle.

I am billing, therefore I am.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Abortion Debates in the US

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

Judge getting hair done.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"He's doing it again, your honor!"

'Talk to my lawyer.'

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

Play It Safe

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

I'm representing Rudy in your relationship discussions. It's common sense. It will enable both parties to not get too emotional. You're trying to prevent emotion from bleeding into a relationship discussion. Check. Dumbest thing I've ever heard! Calm down.

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."