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Help the Bill Find its Way to Becoming a Law

'Not much, just installing a 'Get-to-the-point' button in the jury box.'

'What do you have for the recently subpoenaed?'

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'

"He's just out of law school."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Book, being stolen: 'How to be your own lawyer.'

"I'm going to have a hard time convincing a judge that you were injured at work, Superguy."

"My specialty is tangled webs."

"Not all lawyers are blatant money grabbers, Mr. Parfitt, but I am."

"I was innocent but the jury thought I looked really guilty."

Employee help

"In mitigation, m'lud, he is immensely rich."

'Talk about a tough judge, man! The jury found me NOT guilty and he still gave me 10 years!'

''Rehabilitation'? -- Again?'

'Cold today, isn't it?' - 'Yes, I actually saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pockets.'

'I'm afraid I'll have to recuse myself from this trial -- I can't STAND Alan Dershowitz!'

'This county needs a larger criminal justice facility!'

'We almost had him, lieutenant. He was about to confess to luring in victims with a duck call...'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'I know the difference between right and wrong... but not the on/off position of the safety on my gun.'

QC appointments fall to all time low.

'It's true, because we hired better lawyers.'

Fusco, you've single-handedly turned a respected, staid law firm into a money-grubbing ambulance-chasing organization ...Keep up the good work.

Legal Eagle Ernie Esquire answers your questions. "Ernie Esquire, when is it advantageous to cop a plea?" When your please with a cop fails.

Legal Eagle Ernie Esquire Answers Your Questions "Ernie Esquire, What's the philosophy behind no-fault divorce?" Leave and let leave.

The Long Goodbye

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Good boy."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."