Legal Eagle Enthusiast Gifts

Help the Bill Find its Way to Becoming a Law

'Not much, just installing a 'Get-to-the-point' button in the jury box.'

'What do you have for the recently subpoenaed?'

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'

"He's just out of law school."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Book, being stolen: 'How to be your own lawyer.'

"I'm going to have a hard time convincing a judge that you were injured at work, Superguy."

"My specialty is tangled webs."

"Not all lawyers are blatant money grabbers, Mr. Parfitt, but I am."

"I was innocent but the jury thought I looked really guilty."

Employee help

"In mitigation, m'lud, he is immensely rich."

'Talk about a tough judge, man! The jury found me NOT guilty and he still gave me 10 years!'

''Rehabilitation'? -- Again?'

'Cold today, isn't it?' - 'Yes, I actually saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pockets.'

'I'm afraid I'll have to recuse myself from this trial -- I can't STAND Alan Dershowitz!'

'This county needs a larger criminal justice facility!'

'We almost had him, lieutenant. He was about to confess to luring in victims with a duck call...'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'I know the difference between right and wrong... but not the on/off position of the safety on my gun.'

QC appointments fall to all time low.

'It's true, because we hired better lawyers.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Good boy."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Neo-International Law