Legal Eagle Wannabe Gifts

"Please, just give the boy his pocket money!"

'I was an attorney but that fizzled out. Apparently I couldn't distinguish between legal and illegal.'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Good boy."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Neo-International Law

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."