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'He said, 'in his professional opinion, his bill was not outrageous'. Then he billed me for that opinion.'

"There's no free legal advice. That's just our way of weeding out the time wasters."

Paralegal eagle.

'Of course I'm an excellent lawyer. It says so right on my website.'

'Granted, Your Honor, he may look like a criminal.'

'He'll be away for a while, unless his efforts to fight extradition fail.'

'This may very well BE a kangaroo court, Mr. Dingo, nevertheless we still find you guilty of eating Mrs. Boomer's Joey.''

Usher

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Good boy."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Neo-International Law

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'