Legal Eagle Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'I hate it when we operate on malpractice lawyers.'

'He said, 'in his professional opinion, his bill was not outrageous'. Then he billed me for that opinion.'

"There's no free legal advice. That's just our way of weeding out the time wasters."

Paralegal eagle.

'Of course I'm an excellent lawyer. It says so right on my website.'

'Granted, Your Honor, he may look like a criminal.'

'He'll be away for a while, unless his efforts to fight extradition fail.'

'This may very well BE a kangaroo court, Mr. Dingo, nevertheless we still find you guilty of eating Mrs. Boomer's Joey.''

Usher

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Good boy."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Neo-International Law

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'