Legal Eagle Appreciators T-Shirts

'No probation, no amnesty! Darn it - never trust a bone chewing lawyer!'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

Paralegal eagle.

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

I am billing, therefore I am.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

Abortion Debates in the US

"He's doing it again, your honor!"

'Talk to my lawyer.'

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

Judge getting hair done.

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

Play It Safe

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

I'm representing Rudy in your relationship discussions. It's common sense. It will enable both parties to not get too emotional. You're trying to prevent emotion from bleeding into a relationship discussion. Check. Dumbest thing I've ever heard! Calm down.

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

L.A. Law