Legal Eagle Appreciators T-Shirts

'No probation, no amnesty! Darn it - never trust a bone chewing lawyer!'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Paralegal eagle.

I am billing, therefore I am.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'Talk to my lawyer.'

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

Judge getting hair done.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

L.A. Law

Innocent bystanders are real tough to convict: 'You saw it happen, why didn't you do anything?'