Legal Eagles With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"My client is completely rehabilitated, Your Honor, in a grabass sort of way."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"White Collar Prison"

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

I am billing, therefore I am.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Abortion Debates in the US

'I think its being tapped.'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"He's doing it again, your honor!"

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Judge getting hair done.

'Talk to my lawyer.'

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

"I'm not sure...I think the animals have been acting differently since we started feeding them that genetically modified stuff!"

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

Play It Safe

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

The Lawyer of Oz

'My client stands before you, a jury of his peers ...'

I invented the wheel, fire, and the bow and arrow, and then some wiseguy invented lawyers and took them all away from me.

"But, Senator, all the cool kids were doing it."