Legal Eagle Humorists Gifts

Player Status.

'I'm groping for a snappy, Hollywood-style one-liner in answer to your question, your Honor, but all I'm coming up with is 'Not Guilty!''

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Good boy."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Neo-International Law

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

I love Lawyers