Legal Eagles With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"My client is completely rehabilitated, Your Honor, in a grabass sort of way."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"White Collar Prison"

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

I am billing, therefore I am.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Talk to my lawyer.'

Judge getting hair done.

'I think its being tapped.'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Willson, Carswell & Griggs - The Balanchine Version

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

"I'm not sure...I think the animals have been acting differently since we started feeding them that genetically modified stuff!"

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

The Lawyer of Oz

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his peers ...'