Legal Eagle Chuckler Gifts

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Shoot, he's got a restraining order!

'Anymore smart remarks!'

'Won't you forgive US OUR Trespasses?'

IRS, 'Nice try, but you can't deduct your bartender as your 'drinking consultant.''

"This will be an easy one. These lawyers don't have any working internal organs."

"Good boy."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Neo-International Law

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'