Legal Curiosities Gifts

"Goodbye Sweetheart. No matter where you go in this life, or what you do, always remember that you signed an N.D.A. with us."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"At least he's honest about it..."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"...And now show us what you said."

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

Law Offices

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

Corporate Lawyers

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'...And to spare my relatives the burden of inheritance taxes, I've decided not to give them anything.'