Curious About Legal Matters Gifts

'It would have been easier to prove your father was of sound mind when he wrote this will if he hadn't written it on the headed notepaper of the psychiatric hospital in which he'd been sectioned.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Bailiff."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Violent Crime Statistics

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Lady Justice.

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"They're class action figures."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Justice

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?