Law Discussion Enthusiast Gifts

'Stand your ground' law.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Violent Crime Statistics

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Lady Justice.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."