Quirky Legal Mind Gifts

"So, do we change ends after a fifteen-minute recess?"

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

Beware of the Legislation

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Law Offices

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

Transcendental Litigation

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'Yeah, I shot the guy, but only because I was misled by my advisors.'

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

Computer questionning a witness.

'My client was unaware that going to school was against the rules your Honour: Mary made him do it...'

SCOTUS

"I'm sorry, Henri. I don't think you can sue every science teacher for 'defamation of effect'."

'We're making you partner since you'd be easier to indict.'

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

"It only takes one barrister, but there must be a solicitor present."

'No, insanely funny is not a plea!'

'Landmark book deal.'

'Act crazy and maybe we can get you off on the grounds of diminished responsibility.' 'But I only wanted you to check this contract for me!'

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

Pro-bono....anti-bono.

'I told you we should have testified SOMETHING but the truth!'

'I'm not sure if I'm divorced or not. After seeing my husband in court the judge gave custody of him.'

Laws of Chicago - Illegal Objects Inserted in Parking Meters.

"Goodbye Sweetheart. No matter where you go in this life, or what you do, always remember that you signed an N.D.A. with us."