Quirky Legal Mind Gifts

"So, do we change ends after a fifteen-minute recess?"

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Beware of the Legislation

Law Offices

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

Transcendental Litigation

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"I try to mix art cases with technical cases and have each side of my brain log billable hours."

Microbiology Lab. It's worse than we thought. That antibiotic resistant bacteria is reading Nietzsche!

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'Yeah, I shot the guy, but only because I was misled by my advisors.'

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

Computer questionning a witness.

'My client was unaware that going to school was against the rules your Honour: Mary made him do it...'

'No, insanely funny is not a plea!'

'Act crazy and maybe we can get you off on the grounds of diminished responsibility.' 'But I only wanted you to check this contract for me!'

SCOTUS

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

'We're making you partner since you'd be easier to indict.'

'Landmark book deal.'

I told you we should have given power of attorney to the dog instead of the cat.

"It only takes one barrister, but there must be a solicitor present."

"I'm sorry, Henri. I don't think you can sue every science teacher for 'defamation of effect'."

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

Pro-bono....anti-bono.

'I told you we should have testified SOMETHING but the truth!'

"And I take it that 'Mister Jolly' is a puppeteer by profession?"

"Click here if you accept his terms and conditions."