Legacy Humorist Pillows

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Apples for sale

"You're going to hate yourself."

Vlad the Impala

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

The discovery of asparagus.

"Right here's fine."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

The Fall of Gnome

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Stonehenge Explained

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'