Legendary Humorist Pillows

"Shady Godiva"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Apples for sale

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

Vlad the Impala

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Stonehenge Explained

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'