Leg Day Philosopher Pillows

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

The End is Relative

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

"Never skip other leg day."

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Think, man! Think! How did you get this old so fast?!"

"Well sports medicine isn't my speciality.. but at a guess I think you need to work more on your legs."

Still waiting for tape 2

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."

"Not eating your Cheezies, Miller?"

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

"Five really snuck up on me."

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'The nice thing about our car is we double its value when we fill it up with gas.'

"It's just another birthday. . ."

''I'm missing the football game' is very incisive. Can you go on with that thought.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with fabulous new shoes!"

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

"It might be time to start training your legs!"

"This school is so good, I even learn stuff during lunch."

"I wish I had your legs."

"And remember, dear, if you want to know the time don't ask a policeman."

"Spare the price of a triple-choc mochafrappaccino with extra caramelised sprinkles, guv?"

'The team in white are bound to win - look at the size of the other team!'

"Ah...Good morning Sir, we're from the 'couldn't give a toss party."

'You probably think it's your birthday all the way down into the subatomic level, but actually it's barely even your birthday at the molecular level.'