Leg Day Avoiders Pillows

Still waiting for tape 2

"It's true: no more burpees."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Ultra-lazy sloth

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"He's an indoor cat."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

Even when it came to walking the dog Norman would take a relaxed approach.

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

Exercise vs Laxative.

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

The Sedentary Dead.

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

"... and don't forget to clean out the garage and attic... and the gutters need to be..." "Put a sock in it, Sally. You knew I wasn't an eager beaver when you married me."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My husband hates to exercise since it makes him sweat. How do I tell him to shape up? Thanks, SV. *Actual reader question. Haven't you read the scientific research, lady? Exercise is one of the worst things you can do for you body. It leads to pain, sweating, muscle ache, weight loss. On the other hand, research also shows the great health value of yelling at your husband and telling him he's a lazy wretch! The science is divided on the question. One of the great joys of b