Leg Day Avoider Pillows

"Well sports medicine isn't my speciality.. but at a guess I think you need to work more on your legs."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

The Sedentary Dead.

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"... and don't forget to clean out the garage and attic... and the gutters need to be..." "Put a sock in it, Sally. You knew I wasn't an eager beaver when you married me."

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

'Any place that doesn't have snow.'

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

"Never skip other leg day."

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My husband hates to exercise since it makes him sweat. How do I tell him to shape up? Thanks, SV. *Actual reader question. Haven't you read the scientific research, lady? Exercise is one of the worst things you can do for you body. It leads to pain, sweating, muscle ache, weight loss. On the other hand, research also shows the great health value of yelling at your husband and telling him he's a lazy wretch! The science is divided on the question. One of the great joys of b

Walkies.

You're right. Winter in Florida sounds better every year.

'Boy, I feel sorry for those poor chumps who have to run to catch the train every day!'

Still waiting for tape 2

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."