Leg Day Dodger Pillows

"I hate leg day."

Fear of news.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Never skip other leg day."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

Still waiting for tape 2

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

"No, I'm not going to work. I sent my computer to work for me. The screen has a photo of my face, so people will think it's me."

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

"Pretend relationships are better than real ones."

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

"Hey, what do you say we just skip Valentine's Day this year?"

'How about a bike ride?' 'Nah, the seat hurts my butt, and I'd have to put air in the tires, and I'd have to put shorts on so my pant leg doesn't get caught and...' 'And you'd have to get up.' 'And I'd have to get up.'

"It might be time to start training your legs!"

'I know, but I still hate Mondays.'

What she said/What he heard...

"I wish I had your legs."

'Oh and can my Mum gtake me - around in her 4x4 - Sir?'

"I'm going for a swim. Wanna come?"

Pulling a Sickie.

'Have my leg exercises arrived yet?'

'I want you to touch your toes twenty times a day.' - 'No way, my cap will fall off.'