Left-turn Navigator Gifts

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

The Fast Lane.

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

New Memer/Incumbent

Day one, post grad

'Guess they're still fixing the street.'

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

"Here's what we've accomplished so far"

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

Fire Backwards.

"And then bear left at the war memorial, first right down Newton road and St Luke's is straight ahead."

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

Cars.

'Sorry mate, you'll have to ask someone else, I'm not from this area ...'

"Oh shut up."

'We could use a little divine guidance right about now, reverend.'

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

Road Construction.

"I was born an urban bird and I'll die an urban bird."

'Exit left in 300 yards.'

'I used to give directions by naming all the pubs along the route - I'm as lost as you are now!'

"Look, Bailey! Business park at two o’clock!"

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

Pick a direction.

"Dad, how often have I told you there's no point in trying to start an argument with the sat-nav?"

Passing lane ahead - slower traffic speed up.