Shift Navigator Gifts

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

The Fast Lane.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"I am not asking for directions."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Titanic: How's my steering.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Battery Lighthouse

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Department of Nanotechnology

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Pessimists v Optimists.

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Set sail

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

Nethead strip: Speak binary

"You are here"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

"Your Majesty, my voyage will not only forge a new route to the spices of the East but also create over three thousand new jobs."