Leash Law Laugher Pillows

Please Keep Pets on Leash.

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

Police Lineup Escape

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Is your dog friendly?!"

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

'Just a little off the top.'

Hang Time Fido

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jim's Mowing Services

Jury Bribes.

"Morning!"

'I think the dog wants to go for a walk.'

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

Bad Ant Joke

"We have testimony that you walk like a duck and you quack like a duck. Tell the court - are you a duck?"

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

"His he still pulling on his leash?"

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'