Leash Law Laugher Pillows

Please Keep Pets on Leash.

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

Police Lineup Escape

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

Minority Report Is Real

"Is your dog friendly?!"

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

Hang Time Fido

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Just a little off the top.'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jim's Mowing Services

Jury Bribes.

"Morning!"

'I think the dog wants to go for a walk.'

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

Bad Ant Joke

"We have testimony that you walk like a duck and you quack like a duck. Tell the court - are you a duck?"

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

You did what? I posted your last will and testament on all the social networks. Now everyone knows you left your feminine hygiene products to the Smithsonian. Why would you do that you @#$%^?! Ugly picture taken. Posting to Facebook … now. Well-played, cretin.

"His he still pulling on his leash?"

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'