Leash Critic Gifts

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Don't even think about it."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

Dog with Anchor Lead

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"I've been calling, but he's not picking up."

A man walks his dog with the leash attached to the dog's shadow instead of the dog.

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."

"Is your dog friendly?!"

'Bad dog- I said WALKIES!'

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

"No, no, no. Double-click to open. I'll walk you through it one more time. Go get your leash."

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'

Self-walking dog

"That was a boring field trip."

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Hang Time Fido

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

Mirror, mirror, oval in shape, who's that pretentious beret-wearing ape?

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

"Tales of the Bungee Leash"

'A walk is supposed to be fun. If it's not, you aren't doing it right.'

Walking the Dog.

"Morning!"

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

'I hope you both have many happy years together!'

'I think he wants to go walkies!'