Leaseholder Humorist Pillows

Man on an Island has a sign that says: Selling Out Must Vacate Lost Lease.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Pest Control

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"Efficiency tombs available"

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

'Is the fire included?'

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

William and Real Estate

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

'Considering this is a floating mass of accumulated pond scum, I'd say you're gettin' one heck of a deal.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'