League Night Lover Gifts

"Greg of Rockland County. Patron saint of inebriated bowlers."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

High-gravity baseball

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

Baseball Dreams

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

Biliard Enthusiast

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"You're back! You're really back...!"

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

'I was never good a this game. The pieces keep slithering away!'

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

'I think he's been doped by the rival team.'

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

Baby drinking competition

A baseball game is played in an ancient Roman arena; the emperor gives a thumbs-down signal, declaring a player to be out of the game

Martin Jol

"I don't care if you are a Leicester City fan - you can come down off that cloud right now!"

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

'Be careful! It's her first time winning the jackpot!'

Avram Grant, Premier League Manager.

"You know, we could easily handle this peacefully, but there are too many adults on the field."

Inventing the roulette wheel.

"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'Cards? Sure -- I've got some time to kill.'

The hazards of forgetting to turn off your cell phone,

'Once more dear. A touchdown is worth how many points?'