Leadership Laugher Gifts

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"Listen, if this takes much longer I'll be late for work and I'll be a dead man!"

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

Coast to coast.

'A nice feature of this office, the view from that window won't distract you from your work.'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jury Bribes.

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

'What kind of person would tell his best friend to go and fetch his stinky old slippers?'

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

'It was George's first time on top of the bill.'

Escaping surgery.

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'