Leadership Laugher Gifts

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

"Listen, if this takes much longer I'll be late for work and I'll be a dead man!"

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

Coast to coast.

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jury Bribes.

'A nice feature of this office, the view from that window won't distract you from your work.'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

'What kind of person would tell his best friend to go and fetch his stinky old slippers?'

Husband check

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

You did what? I posted your last will and testament on all the social networks. Now everyone knows you left your feminine hygiene products to the Smithsonian. Why would you do that you @#$%^?! Ugly picture taken. Posting to Facebook … now. Well-played, cretin.

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'

Escaping surgery.

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

'It was George's first time on top of the bill.'

'I can't get this laptop to work.'

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"