Leadership Laugh Gifts

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

'I'm looking for someone to keep the blood off my hands.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

"I'm sorry about your divorce, but you can't nest in the storeroom."

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"If only the men could see my fun side."

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

"Maybe yes. Maybe no."

'Leaders need to be prepared to make sacrifices and you're mine!'

'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'

'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'

Having just been elected leader of the pack, Marty decided to tell the others the truth.

'Go ahead and take a seat Johnson...no, the other one.'

'It was George's first time on top of the bill.'

'That's why we're vice-presidents, and he's president.'

'Leadership challenge? No chance!'

"Amanda!! Pay attention!...You're drifting out of formation again!!!"

"Warning: The following programme may contain intelligent, humorous, factual entertainment..."

Sergeant Bilko.