Leadership Laughs Gifts

"Maybe yes. Maybe no."

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

'Who vetted that leader?'

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

See District Directors

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

"Appears to be choking on his responsibility."

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'I'm looking for someone to keep the blood off my hands.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

"Mildred, who haven't I fired yet?

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

Wheels for all purposes.

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

'We operate on the point system here. When you see something go wrong, point at whoever you think is to blame.'

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

"If only the men could see my fun side."

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

'Leaders need to be prepared to make sacrifices and you're mine!'

'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'

'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'

'This is a business, Peterson, not a democracy.'