Leadership Humor Lover Gifts

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'What's wrong now?'

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

'You can drop all the hints you like, Jones. We're not buying you a computer.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

'I give this one about three months...'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

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