Leadership Humorist Gifts

'Leaders need to be prepared to make sacrifices and you're mine!'

Having just been elected leader of the pack, Marty decided to tell the others the truth.

'Leadership challenge? No chance!'

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Any questions?"

No-Work Orange

Trump! The Musical

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Satya Nutella

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."