Lazy Day Lounger Gifts

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'If I could get outside I'd climb that, and that. Ooo! And definitely that!'

'I'll have the roast beef with the couch potato.'

'My dietitian told me to do something about my weight.....'

Mexican Dog

'Can't cook won't cook'

"What am I doing? Just hanging' out between eating and napping. And you...?"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Man's best friends."

"I am dressed for the job I want."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'...and talk about lazy!'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

Counting Booze bruises

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

Floating

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Rest distracted by moles.

'Well played, sir.'

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."