Lazy Morning Lounger Gifts

Counting Booze bruises

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Man's best friends."

"I am dressed for the job I want."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'...and talk about lazy!'

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Sick person curled up at home

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Mexican Dog

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

Girls in bed

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

'My dietitian told me to do something about my weight.....'

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

Rest distracted by moles.

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

'Well played, sir.'

Floating

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, babe.'

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'