Lazy Morning Lounger Gifts

Counting Booze bruises

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Man's best friends."

"I am dressed for the job I want."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'...and talk about lazy!'

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Sick person curled up at home

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

Mexican Dog

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

Floating

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

'My dietitian told me to do something about my weight.....'

Girls in bed

Rest distracted by moles.

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

'Well played, sir.'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, babe.'

"Sleeping in?"

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'