Lazy Sunday Lounger Gifts

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Man's best friends."

"I'm having a pajama day."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

'...and talk about lazy!'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Mexican Dog

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

Counting Booze bruises

Rest distracted by moles.

'Wakey-Wakey... Rise and shine!'

Floating

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

'My dietitian told me to do something about my weight.....'

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

'Well played, sir.'

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

Mountain Escalator

"OMG, not the Oz Channel again!"

"Tell me boss, how is the holiday weather in Hawaii?"