Lazy Couch Enthusiast Gifts

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

The Common Sutra.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

Fetch the Boomerang

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

Eventual Motion Machine

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"I'm too lazy to chase cars. Thanks to phones, I now just track them."

The Sedentary Dead.

"Doc, I think I'm suffering from insomnia...every ten minutes the boss bursts into my office and wakes me up!"

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'Inactive wear'

"I just got home. Let me roost a bit."

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

"I dropped my phone. Would you mind skiing the 20 miles back up hill to find it? I would do it, but I'm out of shape and lazy."

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.