Lawnmower Legend Gifts

Biker Lawn Mower

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

Cow Pilot.

Human males marking territory.

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Lawrence of Suburbia

God builds the first lawn mower.

"Don't worry they will find us. We're still in the park..."

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"Lawn fish. They're hell to get rid of."

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

Spring cleaning.

Hearing the sound of the first lawnmower of spring

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

'That one's for a man with a very large lawn, it's fitted with sat nav.'

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

'Where's the starter?'

How soon can we expect computers to mow the lawn.

"Baldo, you've been at that all day! I thought you said you can fix this thing 15 minutes!"

Keep off the Square.

'You were right - it's shallow rooting but spreading'

'OK... I know that lawnmower's in here somewhere...'

This Job Sucks

Mower Fraud!

Man cutting grass.

Gardener's Calendar: April - Your lawn will have started to grow now.

'Of course I hate to work in the garden, but I've been blackmailed - my wife wanted me either to mow the lawn or to have sex with her.'