Lawn King Gifts

'Hey Pete...tell me...as a neighbor. Do I have bad grass?'

"He's in charge of mowing... I mainly fertilize."

"I'm going green, too. I'm finally going to mow the lawn."

'That one's for a man with a very large lawn, it's fitted with sat nav.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Beginning Yarder.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Must get a longer cable."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Beware of the Lawn

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Human males marking territory.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"We're out of bags."

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

Robotic man mowing the lawn

Lawrence of Suburbia