Lawn Aficionado Pillows

"I couldn't disagree with you more. I think yours in greener."

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

STRIP The grass is always greener on the other side

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, haven't you?"

That thing he's riding today is a sloppy eater!

Did you know that suburban white males have over 100 words for lawn?

Despite some overgrown lawns, the neighborhood is terrific. For sale. The seller's yard is meticulously tended. Imagine letting him play here everyday! Just treated with pesticide.

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"Mulch madness"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'George! This way quick!'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Beware of the Lawn

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden