Lawn Enthusiast Pillows

'By the time I get the mower working my weekend is over!'

Recognising obsessive behaviour.

'Still haven't given up on your lawn, eh, Pertzborn?'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Labour saving, my foot! I've spent all morning trying to get it started!'

"You called for lawn service?"

Peeping Tom Husband Dragged Away By His Wife.

"I've discovered why it isn't cutting the grass properly - it's a vacuum cleaner."

Mow Your Lawn In Ten Seconds.

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'To peeeEEE, or not to pee... That is the question.'

Grass isn't greener

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

Man mows his lawn while a tsunami looms behind him.

Make the Neighborhood Great Again - Pick Up Your Poop! - Clean Yards Matter!

"I don't even really like to golf, but I love a well-manicured lawn."

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Yeah, well, then you should've said merchandise or maybe contents sale, right?"

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

'It's easy to start, but it takes a big jerk to do it.'

'When it comes to the garden, he's more GROAN than growing.'

Mower Repair

'Your problem is that you're a WORKAHOLIC.. do you do LAWNCARE?'

Lawndromat.

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"It's one of our local customs—the annual blessing of the lawnmowers."

Mowing the snooker table

Mohawk Yard.

'I'll just have time to finish the yard before the next bombing run begins.'

'And it comes with free do-it-yourself lawn maintenance.'

Keep Off the Grass - Rapa Nui

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"